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Well, it looks like Ol' Uncle Sam is up to his evil tricks again. I got called in for Jury Duty next week. Normally, I would be perfectly fine with it!
"HEY, I get to skip class like I'm in high scool all over again!"
BUT... I happen to have not one, but TWO shows next week!
Normally I wouldn't mind serving, but next week!?!
"So you're telling me that I have to go sit in a small room, next to 10 smelly strangers, listen to hours of confusing court room talk for
TEN BUCKS A DAY,
while hundreds of fans wait in line to see us play? This isn't fair!"
Not to worry though... I will still most likely make it to the shows. Even if "Jury Duty" gets done by 5pm on Friday, which I'm assuming it will... I can race down to Portland in 3 or 4 hours, just in time. BUT... then I will be sitting in traffic for hours hoping I still have time to get ready. And believe me. It takes a lot of time to get ready.
Okay. I have an idea! Why not make it mandatory for UNEMPLOYED people to go to jury duty?? ehh? EHH??
*nudges your side with elbow*
They already don't have to miss work, and they are living off of the government, so why not SERVE at the same time?
It's also 4th of July week. So will I be sitting in a courtroom on the 4th? And forget about getting paid time off from my part-time day job. This is just GREAT!
Okay people, please send ideas. ANY IDEAS! I need to figure out a way to get around this hassle. Show up in drag? Say I'm TOTALLY for the Death Penalty all the way? Come dressed in Steampunk? Sing all my answers??? Bring a Sexy Sax-O-Gram? Twitch a lot? Make fake cuts on my arms? Lots of black eyeliner?
WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?
You people are some of the smartest out there. I know you'll think of something.